Confessions of a Bishop's Wife: Crossing the LINE

By Deborah Pace Rowley

Tonight my husband came home from work and quickly received several phone calls. We had arranged in the morning to go together to visit a homebound widow in our ward; someone that I knew but whom whom he had never met. He wanted me to provide the introductions. Since he was busy on the phone, I started to work on a school project.

As soon as he got off the phone, he said in an abrupt tone, "Let's go make the visit now." I said, "Excuse me! You may be the Bishop and have lots of urgent things to do but not everyone needs to jump at your command!"He looked at me chagrined and smiled sheepishly. "Alright," he responded. "I will be ready to go whenever you are."

A few minutes later I finished up my project and found him in the kitchen. I gave him a huge hug and apologized for snapping at him. I hate it when I do that, especially when he is just trying to be a good bishop. He whispered into my hair, "You are just doing your job."

"What do you mean?"

"Letting me know when I have crossed the line."

I laughed. "I didn't think Bishops could cross the line."

"Yes, they can. I am not a wizard!"

I immediately knew what he was talking about. Somehow everything in our family comes back to Lord of the Rings. (Remind me to tell you about the first two weeks after he was called but before he was sustained!)

Together we quoted Gandolf's line from the first movie: "A wizard is never late. He arrives precisely when he means to."

"Perfect," I teased. "A Bishop doesn't cross the line. He draws the line exactly where he means to."

We laughed. Contention dispersed. Love returns to the Bishop's household and together we go to make an enjoyable visit. I just hope that I don't have to do MY job too often!

The Family Proclamation: Listening to God's Prophets

By: Deborah Pace Rowley

This is the first in a series of family home evening lessons based on The Family: A Proclamation to the World. 

Lesson I:

Listening to God’s Prophets

Attention-Getting Activity:

Start the lesson with a treasure hunt. Beforehand fill a box with a treat and enough copies of the Proclamation for each family member. Hide the treasure somewhere very difficult to find in the house, such as the top of a closet behind other items, but keep its location a secret from other family members. Begin the activity by choosing a family member to lead the treasure hunt. Say to this person, “Lead us to the treasure.” Don’t give any clues or directions to help. When he or she gives up after a few minutes, ask the family if they need someone to help who actually knows where the treasure is. When they say “Yes”, give them the first clue such as go upstairs. Further clues could be; go to the master bedroom, go to the master bedroom closet, and look on the top shelf behind the extra sheets.

When the family has retrieved the treasure and shared the treat, remind them how important it is to have a guide who knows where the treasure is located. As a family, you are going to begin studying the Proclamation which is a guide by our prophet to help us find real treasure in our marriages and with our families. The prophet does know where the treasure is located and he can get us safely there. 

The Proclamation:

Hand each family member their own copy of the family proclamation. Show family members a picture of the First Presidency and the Council of the Twelve Apostles so that they can picture the speakers as you read the first paragraph together. 

“We, the First Presidency and the Council of the Twelve Apostles of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, solemnly proclaim that marriage between a man and a woman is ordained of God and that the family is central to the Creator’s plan for the eternal destiny of His children.” 

Testimony:

Bear testimony that these men have been called of God and that they are divinely inspired to know what we need at this time. Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ inspired them to write this document for our day to guide us and help us to avoid the deceptions of the adversary.  Let your family know that the world teaches things that are different than this document. They may hear things in classes or on the news or with friends that contradict this document. The world can be very persuasive in presenting Satan’s lies but they can know with complete certainty that the Proclamation is true. It is what God wants us to know and believe about the family. We don’t ever need to be confused or unsure about where we should stand on an issue or what we should do. We have the guidance of living prophets. Now we need to learn and follow what they teach us. Promise your family that as they learn about and study the Proclamation they will feel the spirit witnessing that it is true. In this way, they will gain their own testimony of this document and its power. 

Extension Activity: 

It is fun to personalize the Proclamation by decorating the borders around the words. You can copy family pictures that your children can cut up and glue in place at the sides of the Proclamation. You can also have your children color pictures of each family member down the sides of the Proclamation. Have each child personalize their copy of the Proclamation and then keep them in a safe place for future lessons. 

Refreshments:  

Make doughnut sundaes by placing a simple glazed doughnut on a plate and filling the middle with ice cream. Drizzle caramel or chocolate sauce over the filled doughnut and add whipping cream and nuts if desired. As you eat refreshments, talk about how much yummier this is than a plain doughnut with nothing in the middle. In the same way, the family is the center of our Heavenly Father’s plan. Without a family, life is like the center of a doughnut, an empty hole.   

Confessions of a Bishop's Wife

By: Deborah Pace Rowley

My husband Lin was just called as a Bishop.  If Bishop's wives need mottos or mission statements, I have decided that mine will be, "Never suppress a generous thought." You know that story, don't you? A young women had received a beautiful piece of silk from her father who had purchased it in his business travels. The thought came to her that she would like to make a tie for President Spencer W. Kimball, who was a member of her ward. So she made the tie.

Then she set about to deliver it. But as she walked up the walk to his door, doubt began to flood her mind. "What am I thinking? Pres. Kimball doesn't need another tie from me. I am so embarrassed. He would never wear this." She quickly turned around and headed back down the walk. But Camilla Kimball had seen her approach the house and hurried out to stop her. Camilla graciously accepted the tie on behalf of the prophet, and she kindly said to this young woman, "My dear, never suppress a generous thought."

I love this story and have decided to make it my motto. I don't consider myself a very good gift-giver. I never seem to bring the perfect jar of peaches at the perfect time. (Remember Elder Eyring's talk?) But I have decided that doesn't matter. I am not comfortable in social settings. I struggle knowing how to reach out to other people. But I have decided to never suppress a generous thought. If I have the thought to write a letter, I will write it. If I have the thought to deliver cinnamon rolls, I will deliver them. I will act on the little thoughts I am given, hoping that God can magnify my small efforts in behalf of our ward.

I had the thought today that I need to write about our adventures in this little blog that I have let lie dormant for a long time. I don't know if anyone will benefit from my experience but since I never want to suppress a generous thought, here it goes. I will title these posts: Confession of a Bishop's wife.

I can't promise that I will post very often but I recently found some more great family home evening lessons that I will be posting as well. These lessons are from a series that I did about the Family Proclamation. I think someone will enjoy these lessons so I will be posting them as well.

Thank you for reading and sharing my journey.

President Monson- Lesson 7- Service Project

Thomas S. Monson- Lesson 7- Service Project
by: Deborah Pace Rowley

For this family home evening lesson, perform a service in honor of President Monson. Choose a project as family from the list below or come up with your own idea following the example of the prophet.

*Visit a widow in your neighborhood.
*Invite a widow or widower over to dinner and a family talent show.
*Go to a local nursing home to sing, play musical instruments or read and visit with the residents.
*Send cards and pictures in a care package to elderly grandparents or great grandparents that live far away.
*Deliver an anonymous plate of goodies to anyone who might be feelings lonely in your ward or neighborhood.
*Invite a single mother and her children over for a special family game night.
*Call an elderly friend or relative on the phone to express your love and appreciation.
*Interview an elderly relative about their childhood and memories. Record the interview with a video camera.

Thomas S. Monson- Lesson 6- Prophet of God

Thomas S. Monson- Lesson 6- Prophet of God

By: Deborah Pace Rowley

Story: 

Being by sharing this story that President Monson told in the April 2008 General Conference Priesthood Session. 

“As I have pondered how we might best provide such examples, I have thought of an experience I had some years ago while attending a stake conference. during the general session, I observed a young boy sitting with his family on the front row of the stake center. I was seated on the stand. As the meeting progressed, I began to notice that if I crossed one leg over the other, the young boy would do the same thing. If I revered the motion and crossed the other leg, he would follow suit. I would put my hands in my lap, and he would do the same, . I rested my chin in my hand, and he also did so. Whatever I did, he would imitate my actions. This continued until the time approached for me to address the congregation. I decided to put him to the test. I looked squarely at him, certain I had his attention, and then I wigged my ears. He made a vain attempt to do the same, but I had him. He just couldn’t quite get his ears to wiggle. He turned to his father, who was sitting next t o him, and whispered something to him. He pointed to his ears and then to me. As his father looked in my direction, obviously to see my ears wiggle, I sat solemnly with my arms folded, not moving a muscle. The father glanced back skeptically at his son, who looked slightly defeated. He finally gave me a sheepish grin and shrugged his shoulders. (President Thomas S. Monson, Examples of Righteousness, Ensign May 2008, pg. 66) 

Activity: Mirror Game

Have the family play the mirror game to illustrate this principle of example. Have each family member choose a partner. The partners sit facing each other. One person is the leader. They do an action such as pretending to brush their hair or touch their nose or scratch their ear. At the same time that they do an action, they say a different action. For example, as I pretended to brush my hair, I could say, “Scratch your nose.” The mirror or the person sitting across from he has to do what I say and not what I am dong. change actions as quickly as possible to try to trip up your mirror. When the mirror copies the actions instead of the spoken words, he or she is out and gets a turn at being the leader. Play a few rounds and then ask the family what they learned. This game illustrates the principle that it is easier to follow someone’s actions than to follow someone’s words. This is true in life also. We are more likely to follow someone’s example in their actions more than just their words. The phrase, “Do what I say and not what  do,” is never effective. 

Follow the Prophet: 

The last few lessons we have been learning about President Monson and his life. What things has he taught us to do by his example? Create list as a family of things that President Monson does in his own life that we should try to follow. Hang this list in a prominent place so that family members can look at it frequently. 

Testimony: 

Have each family member share their feelings about the prophet and the blessings that have come to them as they have followed his example and teachings. 

Treat: Stained Glass Windows

Buy prepared sugar cookie dough or make a batch of homemade dough. Roll the dough into ropes 1/4 inch wide. Then shape the ropes into open circle or square-shaped windows, gently sealing the edges where they meet. Lay these shaped pieces of dough on a greased cookie sheet. Parchment paper also works very well. Place finely crushed Life Saver candy pieces in the middle of each window. Bake at 375 for 6 to 8 minutes. The candy pieces will melt and spread out into a thin layer inside the cookie. Allow them to cool before removing from the cookie sheet. This has created a stained glass window. Explain to the family that the best examples in our lives are those that are windows to Jesus Christ. They are humble and keep the focus off themselves so that we can see the love of Jesus Christ through them. 

President Monson- Lesson 5- Family Man

Thomas S. Monson- Lesson 5- Family Man

by: Deborah Pace Rowley

Activity: Draw a Happy Home

Write each statement listed below on a 3/5 card before the lesson. 

for this activity one member of the family will choose a card. They will then have 1 minute to draw pictures to get the rest of the family to guess the word on the card. Before the game begins, give the family this clue: All these words have to do with a talk that President Monson gave called, “Hallmarks of a Happy Home.” 

Books   Library Love

Learning Treasure Pattern

Testimony Prayer Faith

Jesus Christ Scriptures Holding Hands

Family Home Heaven

Story: Hallmarks of a Happy Home

after the game, share with the family President Monson’s four keys to a happy home.
1. A library of learning

1. A pattern of prayer
2. A legacy of love
3. A treasure of testimony

Write these on four pieces of paper and put them on the floor or table in front of the family. President Monson is a great example of all of these characteristics in his own home.He is married to Frances Johnson Monson and together they have created a home filled with all these characteristics. Ask different family members to share the stories listed below and then decide which of the four categories the story illustrates. 

Example 1: 

President Monson’s father was a printer and worked hard and long every day of his life. He set a great example of his son. President Monson tells this story: On a Sunday afternoon Dad would say to me, “Come along Tommy; let’s take Uncle Elias for a short drive. Boarding the old 1928 Oldsmobile, we would proceed to Eight West, where, at the home of Uncle Elias, I would wait in the car while Dad went inside. Soon he would emerge from the house, carrying in his arms like a china doll his crippled uncle. I then would open the door and watch how tenderly and with such affection my father would place Uncle Elias in the front seat so he would have a fine view while I occupied the rear seat. My Father never read to me from the Bible about the good Samaritan. Rather, he took me with him and Uncle Elias in that old 1928 Oldsmobile along the road to Jericho. (President Thomas S. Monson, “Hallmarks of a Happy Home”, Liahona October 2001, pg 3) 

Example 2: 

Several years ago we took our grandchildren on an escorted tour of the Church Printing facilities. There, all of us saw the missionary edition of the Book of Mormon coming off the delivery line- printed, bound, and trimmed, ready for reading. I told my grandchildren “The operator says that you can remove one copy of the Book f Mormon to be your very own. You select the copy, and it will then be yours. Each removed one finished copy and expressed his or her love for the Book of Mormon. I really don’t remember other events of that day, but I shall never forget the honest expression of love for the Book of Mormon--expressions which came from the hearts of those children.

(President Thomas S. Monson, “Hallmarks of a Happy Home,” Liahona, October 2001 pg 3) 

Example 3: 

My wife, Frances, and I have been married 53 years. Our marriage took place in the Salt Lake Temple. He who performed the ceremony, Benjamin Bowring, counseled us: May I offer you newlyweds a formula which will ensure that any disagreement you may have will last no longer than one day? Every night kneel by the side of your bed. One night, Brother Monson, you offer the prayer aloud on bended knee. The next night you, Sister Monson, offer the prayer, aloud, on bended knee. I can then assure you that any misunderstanding that develops during the day will vanish as you pray. You simply can’t pray together and retain any but the best of feelings toward one another. 

(President Thomas S. Monson, “Hallmarks of a Happy Home, “Liahona, October 2001 pg 3) 

Example 4: 

When I was a boy, I enjoyed reading Treasure Island, by Robert Louis Stevenson. I also saw adventure movies where several individuals had separate pieces of a well-worn map which led the way to buried treasure if only the pieces could be found and put together. I recall listening to a 15-minute radio program each weekday afternoon- Jack Armstrong, the All-American Boy. As it began, a voice filled with mystery would emanate from the radio: “We now join Jack and Betty as they approach the fabulous secret entry to the elephant’s burial ground, where a treasure is concealed. But wait, danger lurks on the path ahead.” Nothing could tear me away from this program. It was as though I were leading the search for hidden treasure of precious ivory. At another time and in a different setting, the Savior of the world spoke of treasure. In his Sermons on the Mount, He declared. “Lay not up for yourselves treasures upon earth, where moth and rust doth corrupt, and where thieves break through and steal. But lay up for yourselves treasure in heaven, where neither moth nor ruth doth corrupt and where thieves do not break through nor steal. for where your treasure its, there will your heart be also.” (President Thomas S. Monson, Treasure of Eternal Value, Ensign ,April 2008 pg. 4)

Quiz: How is our family doing? 

Give each family member a piece of paper and a pencil. Have them fold the paper into four sections. In the top left hand section have the family members draw a small book. This represents “a library of learning.” In the top right-hand section have family members draw a mouth. This represents “a pattern of prayer.” In the bottom left-hand section have the family members draw heart. This represents “a legacy of love.” In the bottom right-hand section have the family draw a treasure box. This represents a “treasure of testimony.” Now have the family take their paper and write a number in each box that represents how the family is doing in that area.  1 would be poor/needs improvement and 5 would be excellent/a real strength in our family. 2 through 4 would be somewhere in the middle. After each person has rated each area, discuss your answers and write down a few ideas of how you could do better in each area. 

Testimony: 

Share testimony of one of the principles that makes a happy home or how you have learned the gospel in your home and the blessings of eternal families. 

Treat: Graham Cracker Houses

For refreshments, make some little graham cracker houses together. They work best when you attach the graham crackers with frosting to a small milk carton. Then you can add pieces of candy to decorate the house. Eat some graham crackers with frosting and save the finished masterpieces on the kitchen counter for a week. As you look at the houses they will remind you of the things you are working on as a family. 

President Monson- Lesson 4- Apostle

Thomas S. Monson- Lesson 4- Apostle

by: Deborah Pace Rowley

Story: An Impression Unheeded

Twenty-three-year old Tom Monson, relatively new bishop of the Sixth-Seventh Ward in the Temple View Stake, Salt Lake City, was unusually restless as the Stake Priesthood Leadership meeting progressed. He had the distinct impression that he should leave the meeting immediately and drive to the Veteran’s Hospital high up on the avenues of the city. Before leaving home that night he had received a telephone call informing him that an older member of his ward was ill and had been admitted to the hospital for care. Could the Bishop, the caller wondered, find a moment to go by the hospital sometime and give a blessing? The busy young leader explained that he was just on his way to a stake meeting but that he certainly would be pleased to go by the hospital as soon as the meeting was concluded. 

Now the prompting was stronger than ever, “Leave the meeting and proceed to the hospital at once.” But the Stake President himself was speaking at the pulpit! It would be most discourteous to stand in the middle of the presiding officer’s message make one’s way over an entire row of brethren, and then exit the building altogether. Painfully he waited out the final moments of the Stake President’s message, then ran for the door even before the closing prayer had been said. 

Running the full length of the corridor on the fourth floor of the hospital, the young bishop saw some extra activity outside the designated room. A nurse stopped him and said, “Are you Bishop Monson?” 

“Yes,” was the anxious reply. 

‘I’m sorry,” she said. “The patient was calling your name just before he died.” 

Fighting back the tears, Thomas S. Monson turned and walked back into the night. He vowed then and there that he would never again fail to act upon the prompting from the Lord. He would acknowledge the impressions of the Spirit when they came, and he would follow wherever they led him, ever to be “on the Lord’s errand.” (Jeffry R. Holland, “President Thomas S. Monson: Always on the Lord’s Errand.” Liahona, October 1986, pg. 14)

Activity: Blindfold Road

This activity will illustrate how the Holy Ghost can guide and direct us in our life. Blindfold one member of the family. Then have another member of the family draw a winding road on a piece of paper. The road should be made of two lines with a path in the middle rather than a single line down the paper. Hand the blindfolded person a  pencil and put their hand on the piece of paper. Tell them that their job is to draw a line down the road. Do not give them any direction or tell them when their pencil is on the road or when it has moved off the road. Remove the blindfold and have them see how they did in staying on the road. 

Now blindfold this person again. Have another family member draw a second road. This time place the person’s pencil at the start of the road and give them instructions as they move down the road. If the pencil starts to veer off the road, say “Errt!” This is the signal to stop suddenly and wait for further instructions. The road designer can then say, “Move to the right a little bit” or “Turn left”etc. After they have successfully moved to the end of the road, remove the blindfold and compare the two attempts. How much easier was it to stay on the road when you had someone to guide you? Let everyone have a turn being blindfolded and designing a road then discuss what you have learned. 

This is just like the Holy Ghost in our lives. The Holy Ghost can let us know when we are on track or when we are starting to veer off the straight and narrow path. He can let us know when to turn and where to go. President Monson is a great example of following the Holy Ghost.

Scripture: Following Nephi’s Example

Have the family open their scriptures to 1 Nephi. Ask if there is one scripture in the first few chapters of Nephi’s writing that describes President Monson. The family may suggest that President Monson was born of goodly parents which is true, or that President Monson warns us like Lehi warned the people of Jerusalem. All these things are true, but President Holland says that President Monson is like Nephi and 1 Nephi 3:7 has been a guiding force in his life. Read this statement by Elder Holland followed by the scriptures in 1 Nephi: 

“You cannot understand President Thomas S. Monson without understanding the repetition of such promptings in his life and the absolute loyalty with which he has kept that early promise to obey them. Indeed, his life seems something of a sacred manuscript upon which the Holy Ghost has written --and is still writing-- one remarkable spiritual message after another. In this and so many other ways he is much like Nephi of old. President Monson is most like young Nephi in his humility and in his faith. In all that he has so successfully accomplished, he has been firm in his commitment to “go and do the things which the Lord hath commanded”, regardless of the obstacles in the way. Furthermore, he has done it as Nephi himself did it-- “led by the Spirit not knowing beforehand the things which I should do. “(I Nephi 4:6) Little wonder that such as these are enlisted to “bring forth my Zion- for they shall have the gift and the power of the Holy Ghost.”(1 Nephi 13:37) In light of that promise, surely no Stake Patriarch has been more prophetic than was Brother Frank B. Woodbury that day in March 1944 when he placed his hands on 16-year-old Tom Monson’s head and said: 

The Holy Ghost has been conferred upon you to be your inspiration and your guide, to direct you in your labors, and to bring to your mind the things that have passed and to show unto you the things to come. You shall be indeed a leader among your fellows. You shall have the privilege of going into the world to proclaim the message of the gospel and you shall have the spirit of discernment. Seek the Lord in humility to guide and direct you, that you might know the proper course to pursue-- in the high and holy callings unto which you shall be called. (Jeffry R. Holland, “President Thomas S. Monson: Always on the Lords’ Errand, Liahona, October 1986, page 14) 

Testimony: Have family members share their testimonies of the Holy Ghost and how it has guided them in their own lives. You may wish to share specific times when you had a prompting of the spirit and what happened when you heeded that prompting. 

Treat: Fried Ice Cream

The Holy Ghost often prompts us with thought in our minds and warm feelings in our heart. These warm feelings make everything in life better. We are happy. We can do more. We can endure hard things better and overcome every obstacle. Tell the family that warmth even makes ice cream better. They may be surprised but you can make  ice cream more delicious by adding a little bit of heat. Demonstrate this by making fried ice cream together. See the recipe here: 

http://www.foodnetwork.com/recipes/paula-deen/fried-ice-cream-recipe/index.html