Excellence Night on the Treasure of Virtue

by Deborah Pace Rowley 

Each year, the young women in the LDS church hold an event called Excellence Night. The purpose of this event is to spotlight the goals the girls have accomplished during the year. This outline could be adapted for a youth group of another religious faith or even changed to become a special event for a Girl Scout troop. The theme for this evening was the Treasure of Virtue. We had decorated the room with different size treasure chests or “fancy boxes” and trunks we had collected from the homes in our neighborhood.  One chest was labeled Faith. Another chest was labeled Divine Nature etc. Each girl had placed an item in the appropriate chest that represented the goal that she had completed for the year. For example: One girl put in a pair of running shoes because she had accomplished her goal of running for the school cross country team.

At the beginning of the evening, we had several older young women sitting at the front. They had been assigned to read the story “The Treasure of Virtue.”  At certain places in the story, the reader would pause and we would have 3 or 4 girls come to the front and open a chest and tell about the goals that they had accomplished in that value. Then we would continue with the story. At the end of the evening we sent the girls on a treasure hunt. They went to various places around the church building, collecting clues which finally led them to a key and then a locked chest. When they opened the chest, they found their own special copy of the story and a key on the chain to remind them to treasure their virtue. It was a meaningful evening and a fun way to recognize the girls for what they had accomplished.  Feel free to use this story and adapt it to make your own special recognition night. 

The Gifts We Desire to Give Our Children Part III

by Deborah Rowley
Whew!! This is a long list of things that we want to give our children. Are there enough holidays between now and the day that they leave home? Parenting can be overwhelming. When ALL of this is done, when there are no more diapers to change, no more snotty noses to wipe, no more fingerprints to clean off the walls, what will I have accomplished? What will I have given to my children, I mean, besides a GAZILLION unappreciated hours of service and a huge chunk of my heart, mind, and soul.   

These last gifts have to do with the attitudes and character traits we want to model for our children. I don’t have to be perfect, but I can try to be the kind of person that I want my children to follow.   

13. The gift of service. We will give our children opportunities to serve others, in our own family and in our neighborhood so that they can learn the joy of acting unselfishly.   

14. The gift of identity. We will teach our children about their family history so that they can feel a connection to their ancestors and a strong tie to their grandparents. We will help them find positive role models to identify with.

15. The gift of optimism. We will model optimism and show our children how to look for the bright side in any situation. We will not complain or endlessly bemoan our fate in life.  

16.  The gift of goals. We will our children to set goals and give them support in fulfilling these goals so they can feel the pride of worthy accomplishment.    

17. The gift of gratitude. We will be grateful and try to express our thankfulness often. We will look for opportunities to count our blessings as a family and point out all the good things we have to our children.

18. The gift of forgiveness. We will be forgiving and patient when our children make mistakes. We will model how to forgive each other and our children so that they can learn to forgive themselves.    

Gifts We Desire to Give Our Children Part II

by Deborah Pace Rowley

Sometimes parenting feels like a slot machine. We keep putting in all our hard-earned coins and pulling all these handles and then we sit desperately hoping for a good outcome and judging our success or failure by how our kids behave. I don’t gamble but I still think that this perspective of parenting is flawed. We don’t have control of outcome, even if we wish we did. Our kids have the ability to choose. And their choices often make us look and feel bad. So if I can’t base my feelings of success or failure on their actions, what else is there? This is where the gifts come in. Lucky me! I am the giver and I am in control of all the things I give my children: both the tangible Christmas and birthday gifts and the intangible life lessons that I do my best to teach them. Of course, they can choose what they want to do with my gifts. But if I give these gifts will all my heart, I can be at peace.

These next six gifts are the gifts we felt our children would need to successfully LAUNCH and not live with dear old mom and dad FOR…ever.

7. The gift of meaningful relationships. We will give our children an example of a loving marriage, practice communicating respectfully and proper teaching about chastity and sex.

8. The gift of hard work. We will give our children the satisfaction of completing difficult tasks as well as teaching them skills in cooking, cleaning, laundry, yard work and home and car maintenance.

9. The gift of healthy habits. We will provide nutritious food for our children and will participate in physical activity as a family. We will help our children understand the reasons to avoid drugs and alcohol.

10. The gift of learning. We will support our children in their school work and help them develop a love of reading by sharing with them the best books. 

11. The gift of talents. We know that God gave each of our children talents. We want to give them the encouragement, support, and resources to explore interests in sports, music, art and other areas of the child’s choice.

12. The gift of financial teaching. We want to prepare our children to handle money responsibly, with experience making decisions about money, budgeting, saving and distinguishing between wants and needs.  

Gifts We Desire To Give Our Children Part I

by Deborah Pace Rowley

Have you seen the movie The Ultimate Gift? A wealthy grandfather promises his inheritance to his grandson if he meets certain conditions. The purpose of each task is to teach this spoiled- rotten (but good-looking!) young man hard work, friendship, gratitude and other powerful principles that ultimately change his forever.

These lessons, much more than the insane amount of money he receives at the end, are the grandfather’s real legacy to his grandson.  Have you thought about what gifts you will leave your children? I don’t mean the gift of a trust fund (as if!) or Grandma Estella’s china or Grandma G.G.’s antique monkey. Take a look at him, I just know the kids are going to fight over him when I am gone!

So what life lessons or hard-earned truths do you want to pass on to your kids?

When our children were small, my husband and I created a list of 18 gifts we wanted to give our children. These first six gifts are spiritual in nature. These are the gifts we felt would help our children to find meaning and purpose in life.  They are listed first because they matter most to us. Our highest priority is giving these gifts to our children. Regardless of your faith tradition, what gifts do you desire to give your children MORE than anything else?

1. The gift of LOVE. We want our children to know that they are cherished for who they are without needing to perform or accomplish to earn their parents’ affection.

2. The gift of our testimonies of Jesus Christ. We desire to share this testimony by word and example so often that there is no question of our love and commitment to Him.

3. The gift of scripture. We are working to show our children the strength we find in the word of God and want to help them seek guidance and answers in its pages.

4. The gift of a home filled with the Spirit of God. We want our home to be a peaceful sanctuary where our children feel God’s love and are guided in recognizing His spirit in their own lives.

5. The gift of prayer. We hope our children will learn through our prayers as a family that God does hear us and helps us in times of crisis and distress.

6. The gift of repentance. We want our children to know that no matter what mistakes they make, they can be forgiven and healed through the atonement of Jesus Christ.